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As I try to split up my gaming time among the jillion different "good" titles on the shelves now, I ran into a predicament - how to organize said time? A Stoked... review page! The higher the stoke rating, the more time I should dedicate to it. Because if I'm not excited, it's not worth my time. And so it's time for...

STOKED MINI-REVIEWS!
As per Stoked... regulations, mini-reviews are not real reviews, but reviews based on initial gameplay and preview information. If I ever finish these games - damn unlikely - I'll put a real score for the whole thing. Also, it's all about the single-player games here - I don't care how long you worked on the MP component, singleplayer is still where it's at for me - too many idiots online for my tastes. A STOKE RATING isn't a measure of how good a game is, it's a measure of how excited I am about it. So shut up with your hate mail.

DUNGEON SIEGE
Drool... this game has everything I was expecting it to and a whole load more. You know because of the recently made Top 10 PC Games Ever list that I'm a huge Diablo whore. Well take Diablo, make it 3D, give you a party of eight fucking guys, and make the skill system more dynamic and less linear - you'll get Dungeon Siege. In addition to an engine which is really, really pretty and can handle tons of guys onscreen, the action plays out much like the Diablo, but with less clicking - in this game, your characters know when to fight back, so it doesn't degenerate into a clickfest at every turn. Plus, it has a fucking sweet little mini-box (you know how much I love those) and the box is sweet, and I got a free cloth map for preordering which is also sweet. If you're the action-RPG type at all, this game is for you, and you owe it to yourself to buy it now - Chris Taylor and his crack team spent three long years of work perfecting this, and it shines through at every corner.
STOKE RATING: 5/5 STOKES

STAR WARS JEDI KNIGHT II: Jedi Outcast
Erm... this game wins the I have no idea what to say about it award for 2002. I mean, it's drop-dead gorgeous, the physics system is incredible (it feels like every Stormtrooper manages to fall a different way), and the game just feels tight. But a lot of the things don't make sense unless you really pay attention, are a total Star Wars freak, or read the manual like it's the Bibble. In other words, a tutorial mission would have been nice - in the first mission, for example, I blew up a barrel and spent the next 30 minutes wandering around a small area because I didn't know that the barrel opened up a secret passage in the floor. I fell in it by accident eventually. Inside was an electrically charged generator, which killed me on impact. I decided to quickload (really an oxymoron, considering this game has loading times the length of your average glacier movement) and blow up said generator instead, which produced a jet of flame which also killed me on impact. I then avoided it and ran into an entire team of Stormtroopers who - you guessed it - killed me on impact. I think God hates me, and that's why he made me play this game. If they'd only told me that the shining barrels replenish ammo (of which there is scarce little if, like me, you have no aim) and shields and that Bacta Tanks filled up your health, I'd've been much better prepared to handle the initial bits.

So, I'm done bashing it - the game does seem to have the potential for greatness, and my friends and other reviewers assure me that as soon as I pick up a lightsaber the game gets ten times better. The missions are clever - though the ones I've played gave me no reason why I was there - and difficult. But I'm sure if, unlike me, you have a half-grain of intelligence in your head, you'll be able to enjoy yourself. But as it stands, I can't recommend it without reservation. Comes... in a minibox.
STOKE RATING: 3/5 STOKES

SERIOUS SAM: The Second Encounter
If you've played the original Sam, all of this will look familiar - except that instead of slugging your way through ancient Egypt, you're slugging your way through ancient Mexico. But the same enemies are there, and there's a pumpkin called Cucurbito who wields a chainsaw and makes frightening noises. Confused yet? It doesn't matter - the Sam series was never about plot or even thinking, it was about mayhem and explodery in the finest ability. So far I've coverered about a third of the game's territory, and while a lot of fun, it's nothing new if you've played the first game - the new enemies and weapons are neat, but it's still the same huge-scale battle that we're used to, except now it's a bit more tedious because we've already gone through a whole game of it. If you're new to the series, you're better off with the original Serious Sam (the action sequences make a little more sense and there's no totally non-sequitur levels), but if you wanted an expansion pack to the original - Second Encounter will be your bag. Comes in a minibox.
STOKE RATING: 3.5/5 STOKES

TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER 3
I can't review this game yet. Why? Because it refuses to work on my computer. The game loads fine, but it doesn't seem to agree with my SideWinder USB, and I'm not playing a Tony Hawk game without a console-like controller. It just can't be done - try playing it with a keyboard, and you'll see what I mean. What I saw, though, looked a lot like the PS2 version - a version you're advised to stick with if you have a PS2, unless you have an absolute freak of a machine and can run it at 1600x1200 at full detail. In which case you're probably better off with the XBOX version. Also comes in a minibox. They're just all the rage.
STOKE RATING: 1/5